Regret and Forgiveness

There are those times when we wish that we could, but it is not in our realm of possibility, and that means that we often grow quite a large pile of regret.

If only I had...

If only we could have...

I wish that things would have been different ...

What can we do with the mess that I/he/she/we have made?

Regret is our unhappy companion.

It is like a lump under the carpet that causes us to trip when we walk by.

The lump needs to be removed, and all of our sweeping cannot do it.

Only a word from outside of us can remove regret.

In his letter to the Romans, Paul sounds that word: For while we were still sinners, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly...for us, for forgiveness.

That is the word that can remove the pile of regret.

That is the word that keeps us together and moving despite all of the problems that plague us.

That is the word which is stronger than regret.

Those who gather here today remember Stephen in a variety of settings: as son, brother, relative, school companion, friend, co-worker, etc.

Each will have a set of adjectives to describe that connection, some flattering and others perhaps not so positive.

The opportunities for friction in those relationships were many, and thus there have been lots of opportunities to accumulate regret upon regret.

If only he had let others a little more into his life.

If only we had been able to help more during his illness....and so on.

There is time for everything under the sun, our First lesson said, and so there is time for us to hear that the Lord Jesus reaches out to Stephen and to us with his promise of forgiveness and new life.

There is time for us to come to know

that God's love is stronger than our willfulness;

that his love is more persistent than our hard-headedness.

While we are still stewing about some irritation, unfulfilled wish, or pile of regret about Stephen and his quiet and distant ways, our Lord changes the situation.

Things become different when we hear Jesus' promise: “I love you and I forgive you, and you, and you.”

What will we do with regret and the rest?

Let's give it up to the Father in prayer, and pick up something in the place of regret.

Jesus says in today's gospel:

Take my yoke upon you; my burden is light.

The yoke is the task and obligation of offering forgiveness,

but it is a light burden, because Jesus is carrying it with us and for us.

I remember as a small child helping my father carry water to the tomato plants in the garden.

My hand was on the pail handle, but Dad was actually carrying the weight.

I was learning what to do and how to do it without spilling the water.

That is what we are doing now.

we are learning and experiencing forgiveness while Jesus carries the burden for us.

Jesus has baptized us into his church, and has not made it easy for us to get away from each other.

On happy days and also in painful times, we are still bound together in the one body of the church, even when we try to run the other way!

We need to be practicing forgiveness with each other every day.

We trust that we'll get better as we go along, until that day when we are together in the fullness of heaven:

--where there are no regrets,

--where forgiveness and mutual care are practiced fully and completely,

--when all that has been broken is put back together...no even better, remade!

That is what the love of God which endures forever will do, with Stephen and with us. Amen.

Please note: The preceding sermon is provided as a resource for the thought, prayer, and meditation of the members and friends of St. Mark's. It is the residue of a verbal event, and thus it does not have academic footnotes and other details that would be expected in a written document. The writer gladly acknowledges the prior thought and work of many Christians before him.