Responsibility for One Another?

He began by explaining how the Greek philosophers of old based their ethical system on friendship; that only a true friend would be able to tell the truth about another's behavior.

Only a friend would know when to press ahead or to go back.

It was understood to be hard work.

During the course, the students were to present case studies of some ethical dilemma in which they were involved with a friend, and how they dealt with the problem.

The group then analyzed the situation.

At the end of the series of presentations, the prof said what he had learned from them.

He said that when they were explaining why they avoided responding to some situation in which a friends was engaged in some self-destructive behavior – dealing drugs, or driving drunk, or cheating on exams – their primary justification for their lack of intervention was “He was my best friend. Who am I to judge? I feared if I said anything, she would get mad at me and never speak to me, etc......”

The prof said bluntly, “Aristotle made friendship the basis of ethics, but you make friendship the excuse for your friend's immoral behavior. I really don't want any of you to be my friend!”

He continued,” I need someone who cares enough about me to say “Now that wasn't one of your better moments, was it?' or “What in the world were you thinking when you...” etc. I don't need someone condoning or aiding my errors.

Who are you to judge? My friend, that's who.

Instead, we use friendship as the excuse to say 'You stay out of my life, and I'll stay out of yours, and we'll pretend that is friendship.'

In our modern American life, there appears to be only one absolute – that any judgment on anyone else is to be avoided. We call it being “open”, “tolerant”, “accepting”. What it means is “You stay out of my life, and I'll stay out of yours.”

How lonely this is! It turns us into a collection of individuals, and does not help to build up a community.

There can be no community worthy of the name, no deep connections, no true friendship without truthfulness.

And there can be no truthfulness without judgment.

There can be no judgment without the painful willingness to confront one another.

Judgment, -- the pointing out of right and wrong, the telling of truth,-- does not involve things to be avoided, but instead truly consists of acts of the deepest love.

I love the truth enough to be willing to tell it.

I love you enough to risk telling it to you.

Now we can see how this springs from our Gospel today.

Why is it that we can gently and lovingly tell the truth to each other?

Because Christ Jesus tells us the truth about ourselves...and as we hear that painful truth about sin and separation from God and each other,

we also hear Jesus saying, “I forgive you, and redirect you and your work.”

Jesus is the one who is capable of making that community of friendship of which the Greek philosophers only could dream;

a new people, a reformed humanity,

a new people called “church”,

a community based upon truth and not deceit of one another.

Truth has a face, and his name is Jesus, and his favorite place is right here in this company, no matter how inadequate we feel.

Because this is true, Hannah can say

“Sara, I don't think what we're doing is right.”

Because we can challenge one another, gently and lovingly, Brandon can take a deep breath and say to Paige, “That was really an unnecessarily hurtful thing to say!”

Because we have some objective basis for things, Christina can say to friends who are trying to entice her to do something “No, that's not appropriate for me, or for you, either!”

Confirmands, other students, parents, grandparents, teachers, and all of the community of this congregation of Christ's church: this is about all of us.

It is a multi-step process in which we are to be engaged as Christ's church, based on the instructions he gives in this Gospel passage.

It involves (1) caring and observation, (2) truth-telling, (3) forgiveness, and (4) restoration of community.

We need to recognize clearly what the problem is, say what it is to the person or persons involved, offer forgiveness when we are the persons hurt, and get the community back together and on track and working.

We can short-circuit the process at any of the four stages.

As one example, some time back a person was quite anxious to identify and point out one of my errors, supposedly for my own good, of course,

...but was not willing to move to the next step which is forgiveness for me as we have been forgiven by Jesus.

The person wanted to coddle the hurt rather than cure it,

to remain angry about my error rather than correcting it and forgiving it,

...and so at length they left the church and the community is broken. How sad, ... and irresponsible!

Parents remember that they promised responsibility to the Lord Jesus for their young children at Baptism.

-- and the whole congregation promised to accept responsibility for the raising of those children as well: We welcome you into the Lord's family. We receive you as fellow members of the body of Christ, children of the same heavenly Father and workers with us in the kingdom of God.

In a few minutes I'll be asking the confirmands about responsibility:

Do you intend to continue in the covenant that God made with you in Holy Baptism:

to live among God's faithful people,

to hear his word and share his supper,

to proclaim the good news of God in Christ through word and deed,

to serve all people, following the example of our Lord Jesus ,

and to strive for justice and peace in all the world?

Responsibility for oneself; responsibility for each other.

This is something completely different than “You stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours.”

We are to take the risk of speaking the truth that no one else cares enough about a friend to speak.

We tend to excise that verse about Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them. and disregard its' context.

What are the two or three gathered in my Name doing?

--singing, praying, listening to a sermon?

No, in this passage of scripture, what the folks gathered are doing is truth-telling to one another,

risking a relationship on a more truthful level than usual,

seeking repentance,

offering and receiving forgiveness,

restoring community...

and Jesus is here in the midst of these activities.

Taking responsibility not only for ourselves but also for one another – it is a mark of a person maturing in the faith.

Attention! Christina, Eric, Sharon, Karen, Brandon, Matt, Wanda, Lou, Paige, Stephanie, Sara, Bob, Bernadette, Jane, Hannah, Bob, Michele, Deb, -- and all of the rest of us:

This is the task to which Jesus calls us all, and he will help and guide and encourage us all along the way.

Thanks be to God. Amen.

Please note: The preceding sermon is provided as a resource for the thought, prayer, and meditation of the members and friends of St. Mark's. It is the residue of a verbal event, and thus it does not have academic footnotes and other details that would be expected in a written document. The writer gladly acknowledges the prior thought and work of many Christians before him.